A hater’s guide to “The Sound of Music”
You’d think The Sound of Music is one of those things that everyone would love, right? Not so. The NBC remake of the classic musical is drawing its fair share of criticism, but NPR suggests we should insult the original, first. In the spirit of fairness, you know. So here are just a few of the 31 silly, nonsensical, or annoying aspects of The Sound of Music:
- Rolfe is presented as a romantic hero despite the fact that he is clearly intimidated by Liesl’s burgeoning sexuality to the point where he calls her “timid and shy and scared” at the very moment she is leaning in, if you know what I mean. “Innocent as a rose,” Liesl sings while spinning around so her boyfriend can see her underpants. Soon after, she engages in one of cinema’s more erotic instances of fully clothed head-rubbing. As Melinda Taub once rather brilliantly wrote at McSweeney’s on behalf of the Baroness, Liesl is in fact rather “intent on losing her virginity to the mailman.”
- Maria is apparently sent off to the von Trapp household in the early summer, “until September.” At the time she leaves, she wants to be a nun. Before the end of the summer, she has decided she wants a military husband and seven children. Maria needs a gap year, or she’s going to enter into a series of unsatisfying short careers.
- My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise from the lake to the trees.” Do you know how fast birds’ wings beat? This would be tachycardia. It’s dangerous.
- Everybody sings a song about what a flake Maria is. At her wedding. Etiquette fail.
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Photo credit: fotoliaPosted by Josh Urich