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At work, don't be nice, be likable

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In the workplace, do others perceive being nice as being a pushover? This is the conversation that Scott Herrick of Cube Rules has started in his post, Why you need to be likable at work -- but not nice.

Herrick makes the argument against being nice at work:

  • You get dumped on for work tasks because being nice means you don’t say “no.”
  • You don’t get your problems resolved with your manager because being nice means not being confrontational
  • You don’t get your opinion heard because being nice means being quiet and letting others define issues
  • You don’t get as high a performance review rating because you never got out from under all the work you took on because you don’t say “no.”

Herrick goes on to explain that instead of being nice, be likeable as the likable person on a team also possesses the quality of assertiveness.

His point of view may not be popular, especially if you're the "nice person" on the team or someone who doesn't want them empowered, but I agree with Herrick.

More about Leadership.

Photo credit: Fotolia


Comments (12)

Jan 15, 2010
@acronymR said...
Nice
Is
Commonly
Exploited

Likeable
Is
Kind
Experienced
Able
Boastful
Laughable
Expected

Jan 15, 2010
zedomax said...
Good stuff, gotta be likable at work, then again, it's great to not be at work too and not have to deal with office politics.
Jan 15, 2010
John McElhenney said...
Best thing you've tweeted in a long time GK.
Jan 16, 2010
Simona said...
Good point!! and it's true... I've been there :)
Jan 16, 2010
Great and important distinction. Thanks for the heads up.. will go read his full post.
And I agree, nice is sometimes the easy way out of not fully Being who we are...
Jan 16, 2010
Ron said...
Nice. I like it. :)
Jan 16, 2010
Scot Herrick said...
Some semantics in all of this, of course, such as likable = deceit (which I disagree with; check the dictionary).

The real trick is trying to figure out how to engage in work and not give who you are away. You can tolerate, tolerate, and tolerate some more -- then lose your soul.

This isn't about being mean, disrespectful or deceitful. It's about finding the balance between working with others and preserving what you need to accomplish your work and personal goals. Work is a two-way street; when work becomes a one-way street coming at you, it isn't fun.

Jan 16, 2010
Jan 16, 2010
bsarich said...
I think that this is true, and @simona, yeah, I've been there as well. I feel like now I'm more 'likable' less 'nice.' Eh heh.
Jan 17, 2010
I have to say that I agree, I was fortunate to be both liked and likeable, but it's true that being liked can sometimes work against you. It's part of the reson I've decided to fly solo in 2010.
Jan 17, 2010
GlossGal said...
A useful goal in the professional/this place pays me to work environment is to find balance between politeness/respect and accomplishment/getting it done. Forgive my overuse of "/."

And there should be no confidence obtained by being the most popular person at the office. Balance the human social insecurity with the intellectual goal of kicking ass at work. If you become friends with colleagues, that's just the icing on the HFCS cake.

Jan 07, 2011
Sue Burton said...
I find this likable ... but what does it mean for "nice-ty?"

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